Love is that nice feeling when you live out your colourful dreams, fly in the blue sky and see the world through your pink glasses. This is the time when Cupid throws one of his love arrows at you and gives you all the happiness you have always longed for. At such moments even the three words are said (okay … more often by women …. men are somehow afraid of pronouncing them 😉 ) but are they enough to show our love to our special person?
If we lived in Greek antiquity, ancient Greek Gods would get surprised … noooo, astonished …. noooo, flabbergasted by the three simple words we use to express our love for someone. Is “I love you” quite enough? For sure, from their point of view, it’s not, since they accepted love in six quite different aspects, i.e. they had six types of love.
Their Eros symbolized the great passion and desire, physical attraction and intimacy which we want so much nowadays. I’ll open a bracket here. The word “erotica” (“erotics”) derived namely from Eros love. I am closing the bracket. The ancient Greeks didn’t regard the God of Love in the most positive way. He was really passionate and always irrational but at the same time very dangerous. Why? Because his love went away as fast as it came. So, do you want to fall in love madly and be out of control or do you want to seek something more like Philia, for instance?
Philos love (or Philia) is based on friendship that brings forth loyalty & trust, a dedication & concern for the other partner’s needs. Namely that commitment is the main difference from selfish Eros love and temporary feeling.
Through the years Philia matures and turns into Pragma love whose meaning is the deep understanding between her and him. Knowing one another allows partners to show patience and tolerance, to make comprises, and to stand in love for a long time. Thus their relationship is getting stronger and stronger but ….. but from time to time even Pragma needs something else …… Ludus love.
Some Ludus will not harm even a well built-up relationship at all. Just on the opposite, it will strengthen it even more. For example, sometimes a trip with friends (without one of the partners) in a distant country will spice up their lives and bring them some diversity. Don’t you think? I will open another bracket here. All of us have lived Ludus love at least once in our lives. What I mean is that any initial flirt and teasing one another at the early stages of a relationship are also Ludus. The bracket closed.
All written above is pretty nice. But how can anyone say that they really love in case they don’t love other people and themselves?
If you don’t feel secure in yourself and don’t love yourself (I am not speaking about narcissism and self-obsession at all!), how can you spread out your love to other people? Philautia is exactly that belief in your own strength and love for yourself that help you give plenty of love to others. By “others” I mean not only your partner, family and friends but also acquaintances and even complete strangers because namely this sixth type of love (i.e. Agape love) is missing between us nowadays and it is the most serious problem of our society.
So, guys, in the end, don’t just long for Eros but develop Philia and Pragma and mix it up with Ludus and never forget Philautia and Agape. Or simply love like ancient Greek Gods. 🙂
P.S.: I chose a photo from Venice on purpose. For me it’s the most romantic city and always a symbol of LOVE in all its aspects.